The Orgasm Toll You're Paying is Too High.

My husband had just bought me a new vibrator and with it came all my hopes that maybe..just maybe...this time I would be able to have an orgasm.

I read all the reviews. Everyone loved it. One woman didn't want to leave the bedroom. That sounds promising! We unwrapped it and giggled a little. So which part goes where?? And "oh...that feels weird..but okay!"

I used it. We used it. I used it again on my own. We tried it together on a different night (because maybe I wasn't relaxed enough the other times?).

Nothing. Nothing except for my now sore clitoris which had been buzzed, overstimulated and pushed beyond its tiny little limits. If my clitoris could talk it would say "I tried so hard ...I'm sorry. But please I'm begging you no more!".

By the time I'd had the vibrator for a month the old pang of disappointment had found its way back. Why didn't my body respond? What was wrong with me?

Looking back now I feel sorry for my younger self. She had no idea that it wasn't her fault, that it had nothing to do with her ability to relax or not. I wish she hadn't had to have spent so many days depressed and disappointed in her body. It's kind of cruel the toll it took on her marriage. I feel sorry for my younger husband too. He spent eleven years having sex with someone who didn't fully enjoy it. Talk about a mood killer! The toll of not being able to feel aroused or turned on, and the inability to achieve an orgasm is huge. It's not just the pleasure that we're missing out on. It ruins our self-image. It damages our connection to our sexual self .It puts a distance between us and our partners sexually and it's not okay.

This orgasm problem needs more focus. So listen in. Learn. Prioritize time for your pleasure ladies.